Deal With Nagging And Strengthen Your Relationship
Posted: June 29, 2012 | By: Mary Jo Rapini | Photo: Supplied
I’ve never met someone
who’s dated a nagger.
Maybe that’s because
nagging doesn’t exist in the
Nagging has always had a
negative, somewhat humorous
affection—until recently. Research
has shown nagging to be a primary
reason for relationship discord. To
see something as simple as nagging
be elevated to such a position is a
big deal, especially for relationship
experts, like me, who promote
After all, we all nag. Even us
professionals, who warn our clients
about the perils of nagging. Once
we’re done with our clients, we nag
our spouses when we get home.
In fact, we may be the worst nags
because we know how to sneak it
in, wrapped in sweetness.
I could write a book on how to
nag, but I think it’s wiser to write
about how not to nag and still feel
like your partner is listening. This
is, after all, why we nag. We nag
because we aren’t sure our partner
heard us the first time.
People who nag have a nag
enabler at home, who has a keen
sense of how to ignore the nagging.
Watching the couple, you may
surmise that the person being
nagged enjoys it. He usually tunes
it out, tells her angrily to stop
nagging or withdraws. All of these
excite the nagger, and actually
produce more nagging.
What would stop the nagger
dead in their tracks is to take
their hand and say, “Honey,
I heard you, and I will try to
get that done as soon as I can.”
The nagger would feel heard,
loved and would let go of the
request (naggers have long
memories though, so you better
make sure you follow through
with the task).
The main reason nagging doesn’t
happen with dating is because
the person or people you date
are not invested in you. They
don’t really care. Most people
won’t nag a person they don’t
care about. Whether they’re
nagging about your health,
your lifestyle, your words, or
whatever, the bottom line is
they care about you.